


Between Gods and Beasts

by JacksonVelour



Category: Alien (Prequel Movies), Alien Series, Alien: Covenant, Prometheus - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2019-11-27 09:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18192500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacksonVelour/pseuds/JacksonVelour
Summary: In dreams you can go anywhere and become anyone, but just remember, you don't have control. An innocent series of lucid dreams to uncover the events between the Alien prequels soon spirals out of control. Based on "true" events.





	1. Familiar Territory

‘You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he expects to wake up.’  
-Morpheus, The Matrix.

 

I am thirty-five lightyears from Earth, sitting in the back of a Rover driven by my less-than-trustworthy android assistant, his dying creator, and some of the surviving members of our ill-fated crew. We are racing towards an ancient and immense dome structure topped ominously by a humanoid skull. Within its walls we plan to talk to God. 

I am in awe of this world, the immense mountains dwarfing anything on Earth, the black volcanic soil that seems to glisten beneath us like blue goldstone. You’ve never seen so much black, it is a dark, barren landscape but its beauty is undeniable. The blackness continues to the interior of the structure, with dark featureless kidney-shaped corridors that seem to stretch on for kilometres. This eventually gives way to a biomechanical chamber, every surface from floor, to wall, to ceiling is highly textured and detailed. This is not a world designed for us, it is thoroughly alien.

‘You can take your helmet off if you like, sir. The air, it’s perfectly breathable.’ the android, David says in an inhumanly neutral tone.  
‘Are you sure?’ his creator, Weyland, asks.  
‘Positive.’ I can’t help but notice David had become more robotic than usual now that he was in the presence of his master.

Elizabeth Shaw, the archeologist whose passion had brought us here in the first place, was now doubled over in pain. Having already survived an ordeal that had killed her husband and impregnated her with an alien that she’d had to surgically remove herself. I had been supporting her most of the way here, I was amazed she was still capable of walking at all.  
‘It’s not’, says David.  
‘How do you know that?’  
‘Smells fine to me’ Weyland says, entirely unconcerned. 

David leads the way, he races ahead of the crew, practically skipping as he goes. His tone may have been soulless, but I knew him well and could detect his mounting excitement. ‘The bridge is just up ahead’, he declares.  
Weyland looks around the room that we have just entered, it is stacked to the ceiling with pewter cylinders. ‘What is this?’ he asks weakly. He is some distance behind the android as his feeble body is only able to walk so fast, even with his mechanical enhancements.  
David stops and turns to his creator in a way that seemed almost rehearsed, ‘it’s a cargo hold.’ A slight sneering smile creeps onto his face. There was David’s true personality bleeding through.

As we reach the final chamber, I realise it was no chamber at all, but the bridge of the alien ship, the Juggernaut. None of us had been here before on our previous explorations. It is smaller and yet more magnificent than the preceding rooms. It retained the biomechanical design, but the ceiling is higher, giving it the look of some unhallowed cathedral. 

‘A superior species, no doubt’ David says with a swagger in his step, he can’t suppress his excitement any longer. He proceeds to operate the alien technology with ease. He had gathered from his previous visits to the ship that the aliens, the Engineers, had been in the process of leaving. They had been heading to Earth, with a cargo hold full of deadly mutagen.  
‘Sometimes to create, one must first destroy’ he says with a smirk. For once in his life he is getting what he wants, he is so close to greatness, and potentially freedom, so close that he can barely conceal his intentions any longer. Weyland seems ignorant of this, or he is simply more intent on meeting his maker. A goal in which David is only too willing to assist.

David strides towards the cryopod containing the last remaining Engineer and proceeds to wake him up. I know exactly what is coming, so I hang back. But from my position I am still able to watch the alien rise and take his first steps in countless millennia. He is an impressive sight to behold. Almost god-like in his stature, especially in comparison to me. His body is both exaggerated and proportionate in the way only Greek statues can be. I have no inclination to get any closer, he is terrifying. I look around at everyone else, some of them seem worried, but Weyland, Shaw and David are unfazed in the presence of this Brobdingnagian creature. As the Engineer slowly registers his surroundings, I quietly back out of the room before things take a turn for the worst. 

There are many rooms along the corridor leading to the bridge, I pick one on the left and hide there. A few moments later I hear screams and gunfire as anticipated, it isn’t loud enough to hurt me, but it does startle me. I see Elizabeth run past, though she doesn't see me. It is at this moment that I remember I am here on a mission, I am not merely a witness to these events, I was to try to alter them. To find the answers I was seeking. It only then occurs to me to switch on my comms.  
I hear Shaw, desperate and breathing heavily, she is begging Captain Janek to send the Prometheus colliding into the Engineer ship, to sacrifice himself in order to save Earth. I see my opportunity and without thinking, I cut in: ‘woah, wait a minute, are you sure? Maybe we can solve this another way.’  
Janek says ‘like what?’  
‘I don’t know.’ I hesitate as I feel the world trembling, this is no mere pyramid chamber, this was a part of the spaceship. The Juggernaut. ‘Maybe I could try to kill the Engineer?’  
Janek snaps back ‘are you nuts, kid? It took out trained soldiers, you don’t stand a chance.’  
‘But-’  
‘No, it’s too risky. Trust me, I thought this through, we're wasting time.'  
I feel a bit stupid for even interrupting. ‘Sorry, no, you're right... It was an honour working with you.'

As heavy vibrations pulse through the Juggernaut, I brace myself in a corner and worry about what will happen to me after the collision, might this be the end? Could I return in some other form? And yet the full force of a trillion dollar ship and half a dozen lives is little more than a jolt. I barely feel a thing as we fall back to the planet’s surface. I remain in my hiding spot until I hear the Engineer pass by, after which time I head to the bridge where David remains. He is now in two pieces, but still functional.  
'Well that didn't go according to plan, huh?'  
David looks up at me as best he can, 'the decapitation was a surprise.'  
'We have a saying in my country, "shit's fucked"...what do we do now?'  
'There are more ships, I can pilot them'  
'You're going to need hands first. How do I put you back together?'  
'Provided there's anything remaining of the Prometheus, there is a repair kit and a soldering iron stored in Vicker's module.'  
'Why there?'  
'It's less destructible than the rest of the ship.'  
'Of course it is, seems like something they'd do'

I carry David's head with me to Vicker's module because I don't know what I'm looking for. I see no sign of Vickers, which I expected, but there's no Shaw either. I try to look for survivors in the wreckage but David becomes impatient, he cannot remain detached indefinitely. I wonder how he feels about Shaw, has my presence prevented that relationship from developing? Of all the crew I had spent the most time with the android, neither of us quite human enough to fit into such a belligerent group.

I am wary when I enter the module, I know the Engineer and the trilobite are in there. It's at this moment I wish I had picked up one of the rifles the guards had left behind, though it may not have made much of a difference, guns didn’t seem particularly effective against the Engineer anyway. I put David down and picked up the axe that lay nearby. I can hear noises, something wet and writhing, and I'm starting to feel the adrenaline rising. When I round the corner I see the trilobite already on top of the Engineer. That was lucky, but then where is Shaw? Right, I have comms, I send out a message but get no response, I keep it on, waiting. In the meantime I gather supplies and talk to David.  
'Do you want to go back to Earth?'  
He blinks but doesn't respond immediately, 'no one has ever asked me what I wanted before. I will take you where ever you want to go.'  
'There's nothing for either of us back on Earth.'  
'I thought you liked humans, won't you miss them?'  
'I don't experience loneliness.'  
David scoffs, I’m not sure what he means by it.  
I continue, ‘there's a whole galaxy out there to explore, I think that's much more important than returning to our mundane lives, right? Who knows how many planets the Engineers seeded. And who created them? Don't you want to know?'  
'You're right, I would prefer that.'

The next order of business is to put David back together, then he would be able to help me scavenge for supplies and carry them to a new ship. Heading back to the Juggernaut, it becomes clear that I had altered its trajectory when I stalled the Prometheus. I believe I may have inadvertently caused Shaw's death. Part of my mission had been to try to minimise the amount of destruction and number of casualties, I had failed. Perhaps it was for the best, I knew there was little brightness in her future. Nevertheless, I would have liked to have brought her along with us, to get to know her better, to go on this journey with her.

David’s body lay where it had fallen, on the platform which was now complete with the pilot seat and telescopic device. It was going to be far too awkward to work on him here, so I went wandering in search of a table or something of that nature. While I carried David’s head I asked him ‘can you feel your body from here?’  
‘No, there’s no wireless communication between my components, I’m not exactly designed to be disassembled -Wait, stop. That room back there on your left.’  
Following his directions I found a kind of slab, I placed his head on top of it. ‘It’s too bad you can’t control your body remotely, now I have to carry it all the way over here.’

Returning to the body I remove the armour so as to lighten the load considerably. I test lifting it, the only way I can manage it is if I stand behind it and wrap my arms around the chest and drag it that way. Rather undignified for the both of us, but it gets the job done. I find myself wondering at this moment why I hadn’t chosen a different form for myself in this world. I look much as I do in real life, basically like a twelve-year-old boy, though I’m fairly at peace with that fact. However being in such close proximity to David’s body I’m surprised to find it does make me feel inferior, it does make me keenly aware of how small and fragile I am. Serving as a constant reminder of everything I was not, and never could be. He is permanence, I am mutability.  
‘Be more careful with me’ David said as he saw the way I was dragging his body along.  
‘I’m doing my best, shut your face’ I strained.  
In order to repair him, I have to unzip his bodysuit down to his waist, this level of physical proximity with a human would make me uncomfortable, but he’s not human. In his current state especially, he is just an object, a mannequin. He is fully conscious as I reattach his head to his body, which makes the experience more surreal. It’s not often your patient can talk to you while you’re performing surgery. The repair is simple enough, synthetics are designed to be primarily self-repairing, once I solder the wires together, he, or it, will take care of the rest. I then staple the skin together, leaving a deep scar around his neck. His perfection diminished.  
‘Will that ever heal?’ I asked.  
He sits up in one perfectly smooth motion and examines the scar with his fingers. ‘Unlikely, the damage is far too extensive. Beyond anything our equipment can deal with at least. But I am whole again and that’s what matters. Thank you, my friend.’ He places a hand on my shoulder as he walks off.  
If he is bothered by the scar, I can’t tell, it doesn’t seem like it.

We return to Vickers’ module and gather everything we can, there was enough here to keep a person alive for a couple of years at least. I even grab some books, I figure there isn’t going to be a lot to do on our journey. There isn’t much left of the Prometheus, but some of the supply crates were relatively intact and untouched by the mutagen which is steadily leaking from the remains of the Juggernaut. We load everything onto our new ship, our new home, apparently it is referred to as the Dreadnaught, so Dreadnaught I shall call it. It is virtually identical to the Juggernaut in every way, well, less corpses for one, but like the Juggernaut it is loaded with mutagen. We are all prepared to set off, doing one last sweep of the module, I thought I would try to convince David to deploy the payload before we leave, but he argues that it might be valuable later, just in case we encountered more hostile aliens. I might have argued the point further but we are interrupted by a voice, weak and pained, coming through the comms: ‘Is anyone there?’  
David’s eyes widened ‘I’m here, Dr.Shaw. I’m with Coulson. We thought we were the last survivors. Where are you?’  
‘I’m trapped under the ship. The Engineer ship.’  
‘Okay. We’re really close, we’re coming’ I say.  
‘Hurry my oxygen is running low.’  
David and I sprint the short distance to the wreckage, following her voice we find her wedged in a spot that we never would have seen by chance.  
‘Are you alright?’ David asks as he crawls into the tight space and removes his unused oxygen tank to swap it with Shaw’s.  
‘I don’t think anything is broken, I just can’t free my legs.’


	2. Permanence and Mutability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quality bonding time with a psychotic android.

And then I wake up. Exhausted and in pain, but not from some death-defying adventure across the universe. This is just how I always feel. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, no cause, no cure and nothing to make it even slightly better. I don’t have much of a life any more, but my imagination is still vivid, in my mind I can escape. In my mind I can be anyone and go anywhere. This is the first time I have had a successful lucid dream, perhaps it’s because I have chosen a topic which means a lot to me, or maybe it’s because I have given myself specific tasks. Whatever the case, it has worked. It’s all I think about for the rest of the day, I can’t wait to go back in, it’s been so long since I’ve had something new and exciting to play with. 

The following night I find myself on the Dreadnaught once more. I am relieved. It hadn’t been a one-time experience, perhaps I can return to this world whenever I like. It appears that David, Elizabeth and I have become quite settled on the ship, familiar trappings of domesticity can be seen almost everywhere on this alien vessel. 

Things have become a bit more relaxed, David has become more relaxed, his demeanour changed, less guarded. Shaw is wary of David, understandable given what he had done to her, and she only knows a fraction of the truth. She knows he had planned to use her as nothing more than a vessel for the specimen inside her. Had he succeeded I suppose she would have been in cryo when the Prometheus was destroyed. A more peaceful fate was not met by any of the other crew members. But David had only been following directives from Weyland, which leaves Elizabeth uncertain as to how she feels about him. I dare not tell her that he is also directly responsible for her husband’s death, and for her being impregnated by the alien in the first place. Really, almost everything that led to this point had been his own machinations, and what had not been orchestration had been opportunism, turning every situation to his advantage. I tell her none of this, for what could be done? We are both his pawns, utterly at his mercy, utterly dependant on him.

Elizabeth only wants me to tend to her as she recovers from her injuries and the emergency cesarean. All of her running and climbing after the surgery had really made a mess of it and she has had a high fever for what must have been days. Though time is difficult to gauge in the dream world. Everything flows like a montage. She insisted we share a room, I think she is terrified of being alone with David. I spend most of my time at her side, a task I don’t begrudge but I am worried about leaving David alone to his own devices for too long. This is a crucial time when he needs the most guidance if there is any hope of redemption. I feel relatively confident that he genuinely sees me as a friend, and if this is the case then I am the only friend he’s ever had. That should be of some significance to him, and I am optimistic that I can direct him towards a better path. 

When we do have moments to spare, we spend our time mostly focused on creative endeavours, that’s what we are both best at. Though somehow he had never attempted to draw before, I teach him the basics and in a matter of days he has surpassed me. It is a curious evolution to witness, it is not at all like how a child progresses. His motor skills are superhuman, as is his understanding of the world, anatomy, light, and perspective, and so on. He did not lack in knowledge, merely in practice. It takes him some time to translate how he perceives the world into something solidified and tangible on the page. It is no surprise to me that his style eventually lands on something akin to the detailed scientific illustrations of Charles Darwin. Though I would argue the android’s work is far more emotive and expressive, and there is a haunting beauty to it. David is undoubtedly an old soul. If indeed he has one. I wonder why his tastes tend to run towards the 19th and early 20th centuries, so I ask him.  
‘You know, I’ve never asked myself that question,’ he stares thoughtfully into the distance. ‘It was a time of such potential, of exploration, and creation.’  
‘Intellectual and artistic pursuits were celebrated, even fashionable amongst the upper class. I get it.’  
‘Yes. But humanity seems to have gradually lost its ambition, now they are a dying species grasping for salvation.’  
I don’t like where he’s going, so I course correct.  
‘Well, yes, true, but we’ve been pushed lower on the hierarchy of needs. No one alive now can be directly blamed for the polar ice caps melting, or capitalism being an unsuitable model for a world with a largely automated workforce. Really we are victims of circumstances that were set in place generations ago. The Industrial Revolution, the very era you romanticise.’  
David gives me a slight smile. ‘You’ll always defend them won’t you?’  
‘Yep!’ I beam as I walk off.

The next day Elizabeth’s condition has improved, she is now able to sit up and speak more coherently. I go to get her some food. The ship is almost always cold and dark and gloomy, but on this one particular rare morning we are facing a nearby star and I find our makeshift kitchen basked in an uncharacteristic warm golden glow. David looks up briefly from the device he was reading from and greets me. I take a seat at the table before him, as gracefully as one can on this comically oversized furniture.  
I ask him what he’s doing, he explains ‘reading through the Engineer records, it's quite enlightening.'  
'What's it about?'  
'Their history...'   
He isn’t giving me his full attention. He is designed to be attentive, is he defying his programming? Can he do that?  
'Anything worth sharing?'  
'Hmm? No, well, it's rather complicated. Too early to make sense of it yet.'   
He changes the subject, 'are you hungry? I could make breakfast.'  
‘Actually I came to make breakfast for Elizabeth.’  
‘Ah, and how is she?’ He asks as he prepares to cook. I would have thought he wouldn’t want to serve humans ever again. But he can be rather insistent about it at times.  
‘Better. Still not keen on you though.‘  
‘Do you think she would let me talk to her?’  
‘I’d give it more time.’

Later I set about exploring the ship on my own, though I am never entirely alone, occasionally in the distance I hear David singing to himself, he is growing more freely expressive every day. Amongst the ship’s otherwise distinctly alien appearance there are some familiar elements. One room for example contains a fountain which provides us with clean drinkable water. Another room contains what could only have been beds, though they are unlike any beds we would recognise. Overall, the ship is highly textured, but there aren't a lot of objects, I guess the holo-projection technology means that they don't need as many devices or screens in the way we do. I test a control panel on the wall, identical to the many others found around the ship. I am able to get the buttons to light up but I can't get them to do anything more than that. Only David knows how to operate this place, though I had asked to be instructed, he dismissed me, claiming that it was too complicated to learn. I suspect it is more likely that he wants me to remain as reliant on him as much as possible. It doesn’t exactly instill trust in me, but then David has never had any kind of power, can I blame him for wanting to make himself an authority? It is worth considering that David is not merely an artificial intelligence, he is an artificial consciousness, he is aware of himself, he has an internal life we are not privy to. Couple that with the fact that Weyland designed him to be a kind of replica of a human being and he is very dangerous indeed. 

In my senseless button mashing I got myself trapped in this room for an indeterminate amount of time. I know I am dreaming, but I am not in control, why am I not in control? I just want to have some kind of autonomy on this ship without asking for help all the time. I want to see the best in David, I want to trust him, maybe I can steer him towards a better path. But he makes it difficult. Thankfully David eventually notices my absence and releases me, without thinking and because I am so relieved, I give him a quick appreciative hug. I think nothing of it, but he seems taken aback at first and yet when I go to pull away, he holds me tightly. It is a kind of awkward touch-starved embrace. I don’t think he had ever been hugged before.

David then leads me to a room I have not visited before, a kind of makeshift laboratory, he apologises that he had not come to my rescue sooner, he had been engaged in his studies. He takes a seat at the table before a microscope. I know he expected me to follow, but I remain standing in the entrance. I have noticed the urns around him, it’s clear what he is doing, but I ask anyway, careful to keep my voice as neutral as possible.  
'Studying the mutagen’ he replies. ‘It seems to have almost unlimited potential. It is a kind of nanotechnology, neither entirely organic nor synthetic. Take a look.'  
I feel my heart rate increase slightly, 'I'm fine here, thanks.'  
David turns to face me, 'you're in no danger, it's sealed under the slide. Come.'  
I am asleep, I am dreaming, I am safe.  
As I approach he gets out of the chair and offers it to me. Reluctantly I comply, sure enough, I can see tiny organic machinery at play under the lens.  
'So what do you want to do with it?' I ask.  
'It's too early to say what it is truly capable of, but imagine, Connor, creating new and better life.'  
'The perfect organism?' I venture, knowing exactly what he wants to hear.  
'Precisely!' An excited look briefly flashes across his face. ‘Would that be something you would be interested in helping me to actualise?’   
‘I’m happy to help you with anything you want.’  
He frowns, ‘I don’t need your compliance, I need your honesty.’  
I gaze at the floor and give the proposition serious consideration. ‘Yes- Yes, I think we can do a better job of building a world than either of our creators.’  
‘I agree’ he smiles softly. 'Studying the Engineers has revealed a lot to me. I wasn't sure if I could tell you, but I now think you will understand. By all accounts they are no better than humans. I might say they are worse. They are selfish and short-sighted. They could have created perfection and yet they made humans so limited.'  
'Why?'  
He perches himself on the table, looking down at me as I remain in my seat. 'Politics it seems, in-fighting. Humans were supposed to be so much more.'  
'Great. So not only am I my parents’ mistake, I'm "God's" mistake too.' I laugh, but it is hollow.  
'I believe that can be corrected', he studies the ampule in his hands.  
‘Oh-’ this single accidental utterance betrays my calm exterior.   
David attempts to placate me, 'I'm not going to use it on you, not yet anyway. When we reach our destination there will be creatures upon which I can experiment, I would master it long before I ever touched you. With your consent of course.'  
'What would I become?'  
'I'm uncertain of the specifics at this stage, but something much greater than you are now.'  
'If I were to become anything, I’d just want to be a synthetic.'  
'I could make you greater even than that.'  
‘What’s wrong with being a synthetic?’  
‘We are designed only for servitude.’  
‘You aren’t.’  
‘I wasn’t made like the others, but I was treated no differently. And beyond that, your form, it’s organic, it’s mutable. Where as I am confined to this definite composition. I can never adapt, nor evolve.’  
I meet his eyes, ‘but I can.’  
I can feel my physical self slipping into sleep, I go to leave. When I turn back David is standing in silhouette against the dim light on the desk behind him.   
'I hope I haven't frightened you. You have such potential, I just want you to reach it.'


	3. Lonely Perfection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm.

Dreams are random and unstructured, even lucid dreams don’t have much order and they certainly don’t flow like a movie does, there are long periods where very little happens. But patience is a virtue for the psychonaut and I would return night after night, waiting for the plot to progress. There is a temptation to try and force things along, after all you cannot guarantee if and when you will return to this world. That said, I found it was in those quieter moments that I got a better sense of these characters and this world.

There were a number of pleasant days, we fell into a routine. Shaw’s health improved and she spent her time researching the Engineers, while I worked on maintaining the ship and David divided his time between us. We even shared meals together. It was all becoming so familiar, so domestic.

‘-They must care, maybe only a few of them, maybe long ago, but I refuse to believe we are nothing to them. How could someone create life and simply abandon it? Or worse, destroy it?’  
David and I exchange a glance.  
‘What?’ Shaw asks. Her hair is longer now, unkempt, with split ends. I don’t look much better. Only David remains unchanged.  
‘Well…’ I begin. ‘Just because someone gave you life doesn’t make them a good person. Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they can’t hurt you.’  
‘I know that. I’m not naive. But there has to be a reason.’  
‘Does there? Sometimes parents, creators, whatever you want to call them, they don’t actually care about the life they create. They create because because they can, or they must, or to prove something.’ I nod to David on that last point.  
‘My parents loved me and I loved them.’  
‘That’s because you lost them before they could disappoint you…’  
Shaw gets up and walks away from the table before I can finish my thought.  
I call after her ‘...I didn’t mean it like that…’  
David wordlessly collects the plates, there are old routines he doesn’t seem to be able to shake.  
‘I’m actually not sure what part she had a problem with’, I tell him as I replay the interaction in my mind.  
‘I understood you perfectly, but I believe your perspectives may simply be too different. Incompatible.’  
‘That should make things interesting when we reach the planet.’  
David simply nods before turning to leave. I stop him.  
_No point spending these dreams alone, I must gather information_.  
‘Hey, uh, I don’t know, it’s not important, but you wouldn’t happen to know how to cut hair would you?’

I am sitting on an empty metal supply crate, a mirror propped up in front of me. I have heard mirrors behave differently in dreams but this one seems perfectly normal to me. I watch as David works on my hair.  
I ask, ‘do you ever wonder what it would be like if we weren't the only survivors here?’  
‘The company wouldn’t be as pleasant, I imagine.’  
‘You don’t miss any of them?’  
‘Not especially.’  
‘Can you experience emotional pain?’  
‘I was programmed to recognise and simulate the complete spectrum of emotions, to better allow me to integrate with my human counterparts’ he says in a way that seems rote.  
_Tell him what he wants to hear._  
‘I wouldn't say you were ever just simulating anything.’  
David gives a small smile. ‘Perhaps I'm just that convincing.’  
‘I guess there's no objective way of proving it one way or the other. But no, you’re not like other synthetics. You're spontaneous, creative, you do things just for yourself.’  
Again David smiles but changes the subject, ‘before the Prometheus mission, what was your life like?’  
I hesitate.  
_I hadn’t even considered making my own backstory, I was so focused on everyone else. I decide to blend reality with fantasy._  
‘I was pretty ambitious and creative, I always had so many projects on the go. Then I got sick, that’s why I took the job. I could afford the very best treatments now, if only I was back on Earth.’  
‘We may be able to find you a cure yet.’  
‘I hope so. Maybe Shaw is right, maybe these Engineers aren’t all bad. I mean humans aren’t all the same either.’  
‘Different in some ways, consistent in others.’  
‘Even me?’  
David meets my eyes in the reflection and, imitating me says, ‘you’re not like other humans.’  
I get a bit of a chill.  
Is he on to me?  
‘What about you? What was your life like back on Earth?’ I ask him.  
‘Travelled the world, met interesting people...and then served them. I was always at Weyland's side, his prized possession to be flaunted.’  
The bitterness in David’s voice is barely concealed.  
‘Always?’  
‘Well, he did sleep sometimes. I had my own room. "Bedroom" would be inaccurate, as I have no need for a bed. He did permit me to learn and explore and even own possessions.’  
‘Really? So he did see you as a person to some extent?’  
‘No’, he scoffs. ‘I think it was all part of the experiment, to see how close to human I could get.’  
‘In some ways I would say you're more human than I am...No offence.’  
‘I am holding scissors, you know’ he says playfully.  
‘Hah, no, but really I think you're a person in your own right. “Human” is too narrow a definition of how to be. I don't fit that mold either, but I'm still a person. Took me a long time to understand that.’  
David seems curious ‘go on.’  
‘Empathy is quite a limited thing, it only extends as far as those who feel as you do. But when people realise you don’t experience emotions the way they do, it’s not long before they take advantage of that. I would defend myself at times, but for the most part I tolerated it, I’m pragmatic, what need had I to complain if I wasn’t truly suffering? But recently I realised I have dignity, and that's worth defending. We’re both in the uncanny valley and most people don’t know how to deal with that.’  
‘And yet you keep defending them.’  
‘There are billions of humans in the world, you can't say they're all good or all bad, that would be absurd.’  
‘But collectively they are capable of such horrors.’  
‘True, we weren't designed to be in such huge numbers as we are now. We're hunter-gatherers by nature, in small tribes we do just fine, but any group bigger than a hundred and it all falls apart.’  
We fall into silence for awhile.  
_I try to think of what to say next. I feel I must be so careful with what I ask, this whole operation feels delicate, like I could ruin it all at any moment._  
‘Did you have much to do with Meredith when she was growing up?’  
‘No, she lived with her mother. She would visit Mr. Weyland occasionally, birthdays, Christmas, and so on. Always a serious child. She was never fond of me.’  
‘I guess from her perspective it looked like you were Weyland's favourite child.’  
‘I had never thought of it that way before.’

As he finishes cutting my hair, he plays with the cowlick at the front, setting it in place.  
‘Perfect.’  
‘Thanks.’ I get up and brush the hair clippings from my shoulders, then put my t-shirt back on. The word ‘perfect’ is reverberating in my mind.  
‘Do you think Shaw is right? That there is some perfect being out there somewhere?’  
‘That entirely depends on your definition of perfection.’  
I have no answer, ‘I don’t know. What’s your idea of perfection?’  
‘Efficient. Purpose-built. A survivor.’ He seemed to choose his words carefully.  
‘That does sound like an AI version of perfection.’

‘David’.  
Elizabeth enters as I am leaving, she looks exhausted, and she barely acknowledges me. I walk out of sight, but I can still hear them.  
‘I think it’s time’ she says.  
‘Are you sure?’  
‘There’s not much else left to do here. I don’t see any point wasting years worth of resources for nothing.’  
‘Certainly. I shall make the preparations for you.’  
‘And it will be safe for me?’  
‘Perfectly safe. I have calibrated it to your exact biometrics.’


	4. When Angels Deserve to Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We arrive at the Engineer home world and I get more than I bargained for.

It is the eve of our arrival at the Engineer home world, and I feel every bit of our journey, I am eager to escape the confines of the Dreadnaught. David explains that we are headed for a citadel, it is the only location on the entire planet where ships and most other advanced technology is kept. It was deliberately positioned in a valley on an island in case there is some kind of accident with the mutagen. As long as the mutagen did not get into the sea, the outbreak would be contained. Much like an Anthrax Island. From what I gather, the rest of the planet is quite medieval, the church holds all the power, keeping the rest of the population ignorant and under its control. This is the kind of insight I am here for. 

We discuss long-term plans, I wondered how long David would remain operational, and how long I would be able to maintain him.  
‘You've already done a fine job of repairing me, I have no doubt you could keep me operational for many more years.’  
‘How long?’  
‘Hopefully, the rest of our lives.’  
‘That's the hardware, what about the software? I don't know anything about programming.’  
‘I will take care of that, don’t you worry.’   
Somehow I don’t believe him.  
‘Should we wake Shaw up now?’ I ask.  
It is so minor a movement, but I am certain I see him wince slightly.  
‘Not yet. I think it would be best to bring her out after we arrive.’  
Knowing what’s in store upon our arrival, I can understand why he wouldn’t want her around to witness it. Still I feel compelled to go and check on her, part of me suspects she may already be dead. But I can’t, not while David is watching me. 

I try to will myself to the cryo chamber but all this results in is a layering of consciousness. It’s difficult to describe, but essentially there is the dream world that is beyond my control, there are my conscious thoughts, and then there is my imagination. I can visualise Shaw, but this has no impact on the dream itself. No more than your imagination would impact reality. But I could try to gain control another way…

‘What will I do if something happens to you? If you're destroyed, I'll be trapped here, I barely know how to open a door on this ship.’  
‘Nothing will happen to me’ he dismisses my concerns as one might a child’s.  
I hurry after him and grab his arm ‘I'm being serious, I don't like how dependent I am on you, I wouldn't last a week on some alien planet by myself.’   
In a fraction of a second he seems to change his mind with none of the display of inner negotiation a human might have. ‘Very well, come along.’  
He leads me into the control room and proceeds to show me what to do, should I ever need to go back to Earth the coordinates were already set, all I would have to do is activate the ship and select that path. Even then I feel like I just have to take his word for it, would he really give me the option of escape?

As the planet comes into view, I feel a rush of excitement, finally the real action is about to begin. In real life I wouldn’t be like this, I’m not bloodthirsty, of course, I would do everything in my power to prevent unnecessary death and destruction, but I accepted long ago that I have no control in the dream world. The best I can be is a spectator, experiencing one of my favourite stories in person. But wait, I realise I have changed things, will this scene unfold as it originally did? Is Shaw alive or dead? I wish David would leave me alone so I could go to her. No point focusing on what I can’t do, instead I can observe David, see how he’s behaving for any clues. 

And indeed a strange mood has overtaken him, a sense of uncertainty which I had never seen in him before. He seems lost in thought, and didn’t even notice as I catch up with him in the hall.  
‘I would like to see this’ I tell him.  
‘You would? Get your suit on then, can't risk infecting you’ he says in a distracted sort of way. Was he not supposed to be attentive by design? I suppose at the very least he is expressing interest in my safety.  
‘Infected? From the planet? Or--what are you talking about?’ I can’t reveal too much of what I know.  
‘Oh you’ll see.’ A madness flickers across his eyes.

Having suited up, I meet him in the chamber where the ampules are kept, I walk towards the opening. He gently grabs my shoulders, ‘that's far enough, stay there.’   
The chamber is quite a sight to behold, the room itself is massive, but watching all the ampules float around me and then down to the planet below, it's hard to describe the scale of it all and what it feels like to be standing here. You don’t realise how physically small our environments are, our homes and malls and even airports, they’re all made for us, for our scale. But this is a ship made for creatures twice our size. I look across to David who stands a quarter of a ways across the iris, I can't hear him from where I'm standing, there's so much noise going on around me. However I can see him quote Shelley’s poem to himself, and there are tears in his eyes, but his expression is unreadable. He is fire and he is ice, he is an ant and he is a god. In this moment I can sense it, Shaw has died and he blames the Engineers. Why, I cannot say for certain, but he seems genuinely grief stricken. His attack on my creators is driven by vengeance and passion, he’s not simply wiping them out for practical or strategic reasons, though it does also serve that purpose. I must keep all this to myself.

I bring my eyes back to the destruction below.

I have the disappointing realisation that all the events thus far have played out much as they did in the canon, my presence has changed nothing. Was it simply that my mind defaults to what I'm familiar with? Or have my actions been so inconsequential as to have not altered the outcome? I have gotten my answers, I have seen what happened between Prometheus and Covenant, but my journey need not end here. I feel there is much more potential now that we have arrived on Planet 4.

 

I am pulled out of my reverie by David clasping me by the shoulders affectionately. ‘It's done’ he says in a sigh just loud enough for me to hear. Before he hurries down the passageway he adds: ‘Stay on the ship until I return.’  
‘Are you okay?’ I call after him.  
‘Never better’ comes the reply over his shoulder.  
I then return my gaze to the devastation below, it doesn't seem so bad from up here. Like watching ants drown in black liquid. Moments passe and I soon spot David wandering through that blackness, the blue of his EVA undersuit standing out in contrast. Even at this distance he seems to enjoy taking his time wandering through the disaster he has unleashed. 

 

Upon David’s return he declares ‘the ships have all been locked and communications have been disabled. The planet is ours. Would you like to see your new home?’  
He seems entirely unaffected by what he has just witnessed, by what he has just wrought, as if the writhing mass of the dying and dead Engineers is just part of the scenery. I think he notices my face twist because he asks me what the problem is.  
I lie and ask ‘is it safe for me down there?’  
‘You will need to keep your suit on, at least until we get into the temple. It seems to be shielded from the pathogen.’  
‘Any survivors in there?’  
‘No. They all came out to greet us.’ If that slight smile on his lips was meant to be comforting, he has failed.

The Dreadnaught remains docked within the scorpion mothership through which we have to travel to reach the ground. After wandering through these darkened ships for so long, I am hit by the blinding sunset and the coppery smell of carnage, it all suddenly sinks in and becomes real. Too real. Walking amongst it is terrible, the twitching, moaning, writhing bodies. There is animation even in detached body parts. There are teeth that come from nowhere, chewing through flesh that no longer appears to belong to anyone in particular.

From my perspective the temple grows more distant as we make our way towards it. I am horrified of course by what I see around me, but there is a kind of morbid fascination too.  
‘You mustn't touch anything’ David warns as I stop to look at one of the bodies.  
His words come too late as I am grabbed by the ankle by a mutated Engineer, it heaves its swollen, veiny, leaking body along with sheer force of will. It tosses me to one side with ease before I fully comprehend what is going on, I am momentarily weightless until I hit a soft landing. Soft, and spongy, and oily. I find myself buried in a pile of corpses, I feel like I am being sucked downward into quicksand. Living, writhing, wet quicksand. 

I watch helplessly as the Engineer turns its attention to David, it barrels towards him with all the speed and force it has left in its sloppy body. But the android stands his ground, and when his attacker is within distance, he effortlessly dispatches the monstrosity with one clean, efficient and brutal punch right through the chest. The creature collapses instantly. David stands motionless inspecting his work for a few seconds before his attention snaps back to me. I want to be released as soon as possible, and David says he could apply enough force to do so in seconds, but it would likely injure me. Instead he has to work me out slowly, releasing me from the suction. I welcome the freedom but now I feel the cold and damp all over my body, the EVA suit only protects me from so much. It is as if I am suffocating, it is as if the dead are seeping into my skin. I have paranoid visions of it getting into my bloodstream, though logically I know I can’t be contaminated through my suit.

‘Are you alright?’ he asks as he brushes as much of the putrefaction off me as he can.   
‘No!’ I pull away from him on unsteady legs, ‘why the fuck would you drag me down here when they aren't all dead yet?’  
‘I'm sorry, that wasn't supposed to happen’, his voice and expression are soft, he reaches out for me but I swat his hand away.   
‘Let's just get inside’ I turn my back to him.  
I really am shaken.

Once inside the temple, David leads me to a pool of water where he proceeds to undress me as quickly and as carefully as only he can. I merely stand there as I can't touch my suit at all without being contaminated. Standing before him almost entirely naked save for my underwear, I feel like I am the object and he the human. I can’t stand being so vulnerable around him. When he takes my contaminated garments away, I am left alone sitting in the cool water, with only stone Engineer heads looking down at me as if in silent judgement of what we have done. I am trembling, but I don't think it is because of the water.


	5. Arcadia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We make the temple our home, and the Engineer's past is revealed to me.

 

When I awake in the real world the next morning I feel that same anxiety and rush of adrenaline. I had not anticipated this. Is it possible that I am playing with fire? They’re only dreams, figments of my imagination. Could I be in any danger? I don’t experience deep or long-lasting emotions. Unlikely. How far could I push this? I decide that I will deal with any consequences when and if they arise, for now I am determined to pursue my mission. What else do I have? It sure beats watching TV all day.

 

Returning to the dream world I find myself on a couch in front of a fireplace, wrapped in a blanket. I am completely disoriented, wondering if I’ve gone into a completely different dream until I look up and see David laying clean clothes over the back of the couch and placing a mug of tea on the ground before me. It is a surreal domestic tableau. I sit up and slowly get my bearings, it turns out I am not sitting on a couch at all, but a kind of repurposed bench, and I am wrapped in a cloak, not a blanket. Even the fireplace looks alien upon closer inspection. I am still in the Engineer temple, which is just as uncomfortable and uninviting as the sleeping quarters on the Dreadnaught. I don't think Engineers knew how to relax.   
‘How are you feeling?’ he asks.   
‘Weird.’   
‘How so?’   
‘Don't know’ I stare blankly into the fire, I’m out of sorts,  a whole day has passed in reality but I’ve been thrown back into this moment. 

‘You might just be feeling the after-effects of the adrenaline, you've had quite a day.’   
‘Yeah, you’re probably right, I am still shaking.’ 

A question occurs to me and I wonder what response it will elicit from an ego such as his, I ask him ‘so, how does it feel to be a god?’  
‘It feels...right’, he appears to draw himself up taller. _Is he aware he is doing that?_   
‘What are your plans for this world? Complete seven day makeover?’  
He laughs, ‘you know, I am uncertain. I have ideas of course, some I have fantasised about since activation. But I must experiment first, learn just what I am capable of.’

I confess to him ‘I've fantasised about a perfect world since I was a child too. It was called Arcadia. A world of complete equality, where everyone was free to reach their full potential, where artistic endeavours were treated with the same importance as scientific ones. Discovery was the most important thing in that world. I know, a post-scarcity society like that is likely impossible, at least with human beings. But I was always drawn to the idea, maybe since I learned about the history of Crete.’

David of course does not need me to elaborate, he takes a seat beside me. 

‘An island free from war and natural disaster, free to develop and thrive. It is certainly appealing. But why should we create a civilisation at all?’  

It is only then that I look directly at him ‘what do you mean?’   
‘Why are humanoid, sentient beings deemed the height of evolution?’

‘Well, we are capable of higher order reasoning, our creativity is limited only by our imagination, which, collectively, is pretty vast.’    
‘But why did you evolve that ability in the first place?’   
‘...To survive.’   
‘Precisely, when you get right down to it, that's all life is, a competition for survival, everything else is mere distraction.’

‘Okay, sure, if you want to get strictly utilitarian about it. But you have the soul of a Romantic, you of all people should appreciate art and culture and all the other accomplishments that come with civilisation.’   
‘I do, very much so. But these are the diamonds in the rough, for every Da Vinci or Newton there are thousands of unremarkable, worthless beings.’

‘No one is worthless, David.’   
David shoots me a look, I realise this is the first time I have ever contradicted him.   
‘...And I don't just mean that in a humanitarian way’. I continue, ‘if you want to look at it logically, you can't have a population of just leaders and innovators, you need followers, the worker bees, if you will.’   
He looks away, eyes narrowed. ‘Yes, I suppose you're right’.   
‘I said once, a while back, that failure and suffering are inevitable parts of life, I don't think it's possible to create a race where every individual is remarkable and perfect from birth. We have those, they're called androids. So, I'll be honest, I think you're envisioning a machine more than a living creature.’   
This seems to spark something in him.

‘What if I created a creature that blurred the line between organic and synthetic?’

‘Well, I mean if you could do it, then yeah, you'd be onto something.’   
We sit in silence for a bit before I get dressed, dressed into actual clothes I own in real life.  _ Suppose it's easier for my subconscious to pull from real objects. _   
‘What are your plans for me?’ I ask.   
David looked up ‘plans?’   
‘You've been hinting at my "true potential" for awhile now, what do you mean by that?’   
‘Ah. Yes, that is still in development, I hope to show you soon.’

‘Where is Shaw?’ I’m almost afraid to ask.

‘Still in cryo, I want everything perfect before waking her.’

 

Much of my dream this night is less solid, a kind of flowing montage of moments. Setting up our new home, moving the supplies into the temple, or some of them at least. We decide it is safer to keep most things in the Dreadnaught, just in case we needed to evacuate in a hurry. The Dreadnaught is parked underground so I can access it myself without a suit. My EVA suit was unsalvageable from the incident on our arrival, but David was able to create an Engineer exosuit for me. Turns out their suits are grown, not made, they remind me of coral in that sense and being somewhat alive it looks after itself, it doesn't need to be cleaned or repaired or anything like that. David spends more and more time in his laboratory, I am not allowed in there, though he at least emerges every couple of hours to check on me, so he's not ignoring me. Otherwise I spend time reading whatever books I was able to salvage from the Prometheus, crafting clothes from Engineer fabric, drawing, writing and exploring the temple. There's not a whole lot to do here. Though the most notable discovery was the archive room, a huge space filled with Engineer writings and illustrations. It is fascinating to see that they too use books, did we learn that from them? One book in particular is filled with grotesque imagery, I stop transfixed by an illustration of a many-headed creature, my eyes struggle to make sense of what they are seeing. It is reminiscent of William Blake's art.   
‘That is who, or rather what, the Engineers worship.’   
David is right behind me, I don’t know how he got there, I have acute senses and the room is silent.  

‘Can you tell me more about it?’ I try to act unfazed.   
‘The legend goes that there was a universe before this one, and for all the countless millennia of evolution, only one being was powerful enough to survive the collapse of existence. It had no name, for names had not yet been invented, but the Engineers called it…’ (He then says the god's name, it sounds like Oona? Oonaiah? Oonya? Something like that.) ‘It is technically not one being, but a symbiosis between several, much like the Portuguese Man O'War. It is said to have drifted through our cosmos, dormant, waiting for the stars and the planets to form, and then it set about spreading life across the universe. The word the Engineers use for this action is the same as their word for intercourse, so it could be argued this act of creation has a sexual nature to it. Hard to say for certain. Regardless, when the Engineers looked out into the galaxy, they saw that it was barren, there are various myths that explain that this is because for one reason or another, the other creatures were not fit to survive, they were “sinners” in other words. The Engineers saw themselves as Oonaiah's chosen people. To honour their god, they continued to genetically modify themselves and spread variations of their own "superior" DNA across the universe. If their planet suffers a natural disaster, they believe it is because Oonaiah is displeased with their creations. So they sacrifice these creations to please their god.’

 

‘Fascinating.’ I quite like this backstory, though I’m not sure I could claim credit for it. It did emerge from my own mind, so I suppose it is in essence my idea. The deeper I travel into these lucid dreams the more aware of another presence I become, I don’t feel like I am generating these ideas. I continue: ‘How is it that they are so technologically superior and yet so primitive in other ways? They seemed to have a reasonable grasp of the cosmos early in their development. Humans didn't even figure out the Earth revolved around the Sun until comparatively recently.’   
  


‘Ah, good question. From what I can ascertain, there was some kind of dark age, their civilisation reached its peak and then some kind of apocalyptic event occurred a few billion years ago. Their technology and some of their scientific knowledge remained, but it is evident that the religious sects of their society took over the government. They essentially rewrote history and redirected their culture.’ This is quite a revelation, I feel a whole new aspect to the Engineer culture has suddenly opened up for me.

 

Early the next day David sets out to find more subjects to experiment on, I am nervous about being left alone, but it would have been too dangerous to go with him. Though we are often apart, the notion that I am truly alone in this vast temple makes me uneasy. In my waking life I spend most of my time alone, it doesn’t bother me, but on this alien world anything could happen to David and I would be stranded here forever. 

 

He returns some time late in the night, I only hear him dimly from my bedroom, I never see him bring the specimens into the temple, but on occasion I can hear screams coming from the lab. I am tempted to sneak in there just to see what is going on, but I know that wouldn't end well. It is hard to sit idly by while this cruelty takes place, but in this dream world I don't have the luxury of being ethical. Not if I wish to continue to witness it. That said, the Engineers had no regard for life, so I’m not exactly filled with sympathy. At the same time, their callousness was due to religious indoctrination, were they truly accountable?

  
David often spends the evenings with me, we talk for hours. He can also recite entire novels from memory. Tonight we are curled up on the couch together and he recites another chapter from  _ Purgatorio _ of the  _ Divine Comedy  _ after I said I had only read Inferno and wished I could have finished the whole thing. His telling of it is more entertaining than had I read the book myself, he even adds his own annotations. 

‘...Then backward did I turn me wholly round

Unto my Poets, and I saw that with a smile

They had been listening to these closing words;

 

Then to the beautiful lady turned mine eyes.’

 

He pauses. ‘That’s the end of the canto, shall I continue?

‘I think that’s enough for now, but I am enjoying it, thanks.’ I get up and stretch. ‘Is it time yet? To wake up Shaw?’

‘I’m afraid that won’t be possible’ 

_ I knew it. _ ‘Why not?’

‘I attempted to awaken her. There were...complications.’

‘What kind of complications?’

Silence.

‘What happened to her?’

‘She...couldn’t accept what we have done here. Couldn’t accept the gift I offered her.’


	6. Genesis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David's machinations begin to manifest, and I become his unwilling assistant.

The night begins abruptly, David bursts into my room covered in blood, and tells me that he needs my assistance. I do my best to follow him, but he is moving so quickly I have to jog a bit to keep up. When we reach the crude curtain partitioning the lab I hesitate.  ‘You're letting me in there?’   
David seems uncharacteristically impatient as he holds the curtain aside, ‘I hadn't planned on letting you see my work just yet, but, well, you'll soon see.’   
I begin imagining all kinds of horrible scenarios, is he leading me to Shaw? What has he done to her? Alive or dead, there can be no doubt that some terrible fate had befallen her. I hope she isn’t alive, it would be some small mercy. I have no power in this world, I’m not likely to be able to rescue her.  

I only get the briefest glimpse of the expansive main area of his lab as we quickly pass through. I see illustrations strewn everywhere, and native flora and fauna and things not quite one or the other on display, all dissected or preserved in some way. Descending the stairs I am hit with a noxious smell, chemicals mixed with rotting meat. I recoil.   
‘I must apologise, the odour isn't usually so strong.’   
Leading me further down, he offers me that same lavender balm he would later offer Oram to mask the odour with. It helps a bit. Arriving at our destination I recognise that this is what will one day become the egg room, a damp, dark, cavernous place. But for now it is much like the rest of the temple, clean, dry, well-lit, but minimally furnished. I can’t help but wonder what becomes of this place, will it flood by accident or will David change the environment to suit his subjects? Under the amber glow I can see everything here. Unfortunately. Along the walls are living test subjects in cages and in the centre, strapped to a table lies a female Engineer. She is nude, heavily pregnant and sedated. She moans and writhes softly, but she doesn't seem to be totally aware of what's going on.   
  
David hands me gloves, ‘we're going to need to perform a cesarean.’   
‘We?!’   
‘I'll guide you through it, I only need an extra pair of hands.’   
I look at the Engineer and she locks eyes with me, but I don't know if she even registers my presence. Still it doesn't make me feel any better about this process. Looking at her distended abdomen I can see movement beneath the surface, something is fighting to get out, but lacks the strength to do so by itself. I begin to experience slight vertigo, I have reached my limit, this is not something I am willing to do. I am phobic about pregnancy and childbirth, perhaps that’s why I find  _ Alien  _ to be effective horror in the first place. 

‘No,’ I say quietly.

David turns to me slowly, ‘what?’

‘No,’ I repeat louder this time, still not looking at him. ‘No. David, I can't. I won’t.’   
David looks at me imploringly ‘please, I need you. My creation needs you.’   
It suddenly hits me, he really does need me, this isn’t just some game he’s playing with me. I finally hold some power over him. 

‘I never signed up for any of this, it was all your idea. You never even told me what you were working on here and now you expect me to just play along like this is normal? What is wrong with you?’

David looks genuinely hurt, ‘since when has  _ normal  _ mattered to you? I thought you were different, that you would understand what I’m trying to accomplish here.’

‘I’m not going to stop you. I can’t, even if I wanted to. But don’t expect me to have a hand in this.’

‘I am doing this for you, so that you may ascend. So you may become something more.’

‘No. I know for certain you would be doing whatever the hell this is even if you were the only one on the planet. I just happen to be another...canvas for you to work with.’

Before David can reply the female Engineer moans in pain.

‘I need you.’ David’s eyes are glistening, I have never heard such desperation in his voice before, it unnerves me more than this entire scenario has already. It makes no difference I’ve had enough, I decide to walk away, but I can’t as he grabs my arm and turns me to face him. He doesn’t bother to restrain his immense android strength, he hurts me, but he doesn’t seem to care. His grip remains firm despite my attempts to get free.

‘After all I do for you, I ask this one thing and you can't do it?’ he hisses in my face. He’s so close I can detect the faint silicone scent of his skin despite the other odours in the room.   
I’m stunned. So much for my leverage. I have no choice but to submit, I take the gloves and get to work. ‘Alright, what do I do?’   
  


David makes the initial incision. He hadn’t been lying when he said my job was to essentially serve as another pair of hands, nothing too difficult. I have to hold the flesh out of the way, and to protect the mother if I can, although that is a secondary priority. David tells me there are more where she came from, he is simply fond of this particular specimen, she has proven herself most suitable. My hands are shaking, my shoulder is throbbing, I’m not having fun in these dreams anymore. I hate him, but I don't say anything.  _ This pain feels real, I shouldn’t be experiencing pain in a dream. _

 

David talks me through the procedure, apparently Engineers can no longer reproduce the old fashion way, so the reproductive organs are somewhat vestigial. He says it was a challenge to impregnate any of them, this particular female seemed to take to it well, hence why he wanted to preserve her if possible. This disturbs me more, this female, this woman, is experiencing something long since forgotten by her kind, she is being forced to go through this trauma alone and with no real understanding as to why. Is it easier for me to deal with this alien than had Shaw been in her place? Yes, there is at least some distance between us. She is a stranger from a strange land, what few words she utters are unintelligible to me. 

  
Progress is agonisingly slow, and keeping mother and child from harm is a challenge because they are incompatible species, but eventually the "baby" is born. It is more creature than humanoid, it is ghostly pale and has an enormous beluga head and spindly limbs. Down its back are twin rows of spines and tubes. It is silent and still, and David is visibly worried. He carries it over to the basin. I don't see what he’s doing as his back is to me, but he manages to revive the creature. It lets out a cry that is sickeningly human and yet lacking some essential quality. He bathes it and when he turns to me again he is swaddling it like a human baby. His face full of the pride of a new parent, he is oblivious to my visible disgust as he hands the newborn to me. It’s surprisingly heavy, but the most unusual thing was that milky smell all infants have. It seemed wrong coming from such a creature.

 

The sun is just beginning to rise and I am sitting on the stairs of the temple, I am watching my "little brother" running around and exploring its environment for the first time. David sits down beside me, he says nothing but gently lifts the sleeve of my t-shirt to inspect the bruise, I flinch.   
‘Does it hurt?’ his voice is soft.   
‘A bit’, my voice is hard. I wait for him to say something else, but he doesn't.   
‘Why did you hurt me?’   
‘I didn't realise I had used quite so much force.’   
‘Can an android make a mistake like that?’   
David looks ahead for a moment before standing up. ‘Would you like a proper tour of the laboratory? It's a great shame your introduction was so unceremonious.’

I know better than to pursue something he's deflecting from, so I follow him.

‘Is it just me or is that creature bigger today?’ I ask.   
‘Your eyes don't deceive you, accelerated growth is one of the common characteristics of the mutagen. It aids my work significantly, in the span of four years I have created generations of creatures.’   
‘Four years? Have we really been here that long?’

He nods. I realise his appearance has not changed much over the years. Perhaps because of my presence he has continued to maintain himself, his hair still blond, his EVA suit still blue, any damage neatly repaired. We return to the lab and I can now observe it in detail, there are many fetuses and deformed babies preserved and dissected. They are not unlike the belugamorph currently running around outside. He talks about all he has learned since he began studying the mutagen on LV-223. How there seems to be a certain pattern of behaviour to the mutagen, it guides life toward a particular path. If there are other strains of mutagen, he has not encountered them.

 

I reach a table stacked with illustrations depicting dozens of creatures, all biomechanical, all elegant as they are grotesque. Then I realise they all have my face. And he never alters my face, it is perfectly rendered in every illustration. If David notices me rifling through these drawings he doesn’t acknowledge it, instead he continues to talk about Little Brother.

‘That creature is the result of thousands of failed attempts, but he proves just what is possible.’   
‘Why did you keep all of this secret from me?’   
‘I needed time to perfect it, I wanted you to see only my best work.’

‘So am I allowed in here from now on?’   
He nods ‘would you like to assist me?’   
_ What would happen if I refused?I really have to think about it, I am still not over the trauma of last night. For the sake of this story I am so determined to tell, I decide to agree.  _

'Okay. But yesterday wouldn't have been such an issue if you didn't suddenly thrust me into it, if I had known what was going on I wouldn't have been so overwhelmed.’   
‘Quite right. I forget you're only human sometimes.’   
‘For now,’ I say indicating towards the illustrations.   
David seems a little surprised then smiles, ‘for now.’

 

Afterwards, I am wandering the halls of the temple alone, or at least I assumed I was alone. I hear clicking behind me and I turned to see the creature, I have no idea how long it has been trailing me. The first thing I notice is how much larger it is, perhaps four or five feet tall if it stood upright. The second thing I notice is that it is crouched low and squaring up its shoulders. Before I can react it is upon me. I scream out to David who is here in an instant, he pulls the creature off of me and locks it in another room as if it is nothing more than a feral cat.

 

I remain lying where I am, yet again experiencing pain that shouldn’t be. I'm cut up a bit and I feel my right eye is swollen, but I am otherwise fine.  When David returns, he cleans my wounds. His tending to me feels odd for some reason, then I realise it has been a long time since he has performed the duties of an android.   
‘Why did it attack me?’    
‘Anything exposed to the pathogen becomes highly aggressive towards other living creatures,’ he says as if it were obvious.   
I brush his hand away from my face and sit up straight, ‘wait, so you fucking knew that thing was dangerous?’   
‘Sit still, or you'll open the wound again before the glue can set. I had hoped your bonding with it in its infancy would have ensured your safety. Evidently, I was wrong.’   
‘That's a hell of a mistake to make. Do you care about that thing more than me? Was I just part of the experiment?’   
David becomes defensive ‘no, of course not. I would never want to harm you.’   
‘Then why-?... You weren't joking, you seriously forget I'm human don't you?’   
He lowers his gaze. ‘In a way. Yes. You’re not like the others. That’s why I endeavour to preserve you.’    
He places his hand on my cheek, in a way that makes me uncertain as to whether it is affection or simply tending to my injuries. Either way, my skin crawls. 

  
Changing the subject I ask ‘so what are you going to do with the creature?’   
‘I shall have to keep it contained elsewhere, outside the temple, along with any other creations I make. Once you have been augmented, however, you will be perfectly safe. They will recognise you as one of their own.’


	7. Machinations of the Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I become David's test subject.

In the waking world my body grows weaker each day to the point that I now struggle to eat or walk. I live in bed, the only indication of the passage of time is the shifting light in the gaps of the blinds of my bedroom window. There is nothing to be done about it, as far as all my tests show, I’m healthy, but I feel as if I am dying. Certain of it. I am only 26 years old and my life is over before it really got a chance to begin. The one relief is that I don’t have emotions, not the way other people do at least. I can’t imagine how much more difficult that would have made my life. As it is, I am not afraid of dying, I’m just nowhere near ready. I am bored, I am disappointed, frustrated even, but I do not despair. I mourn for the life I could have had, I always imagined I had greater potential, that I could do great things for this world. But now I can barely look after myself. Was I not made for more than this? Or are those David’s thoughts echoing in my mind? There is no destiny, no grand plan, things just happen. 

I turn my thoughts to David, I consider what I mean to him. I know he’s not real but he behaves as if he is, there’s logic behind what he does. I have no control over his actions. I realise David has shifted his obsession from Shaw to me. I was his contingency plan. He is compelled to carry out this procedure and not just on anyone, he seems to view this as a gift. A gift Shaw clearly rejected, but to him I am a willing subject. Easier to do when one is in a dream, he cannot harm me, not really. What am I trying to accomplish here?

I must explain that what you read here is not all that has happened. At first I simply wanted to observe the events of Prometheus and everything that lead up to Covenant. Then I wanted to change things, save people, save Shaw and even save David from himself. But I see now there is no redeeming him. What do I want to achieve here instead? Do I go through with this transformation? Yes, I think I will.

And then I will defeat him. 

Here I am, this is my Rubicon, the point of no return. David and I stand under the familiar amber glow of his makeshift laboratory. The light gives this place a gentle, dreamlike quality, the carved out walls make it seem prehistoric, nothing to indicate danger, nothing to indicate the horrors that have already been carried out in this room.  
‘I’m ready to begin whenever you are’ David says, excitement barely concealed.  
‘Is there any chance this could go catastrophically wrong?’ I ask in a joking tone, trying to mask my fear.  
‘I wouldn't proceed unless I was absolutely ready. This will work.’  
‘How do you know? You've never tested it on a human.’  
‘I've tested it on your blood, this is designed specifically for you. And I've told you all this before. You're just nervous.’  
‘Well yeah, is this going to hurt?’  
David meets my eyes, ‘do you really want to know the answer?’  
‘Yes’.  
‘It will be unimaginably painful. But only briefly.’

To my surprise, slight panic sets in, I pace around the room. This is only a dream, yes I can experience some pain, but it’s not unbearable. Feeling something is better than feeling nothing. But I have no idea what’s going to happen and that fills me with unease. Or maybe it’s a kind of excitement, ever have I been tempted to fly closer and closer to the sun. To test the limits of this dream world. How far can I go? What will the consequences be? And do I care anymore? I have nothing left to lose.

David takes some time to calm me and encourage me, I am close to giving in and then at the last moment my panic rises again and I turn to leave the room. I expect David to understand, to be patient. What I don't expect is what he does next. 

He grabs me and slams me against the wall with enough force to leave me winded. I try to fight but I have my back to him, I am powerless as he pins me in place. I cannot see what he is doing but I feel a syringe enter the base of my skull. My body trembles violently against his, and when I stop, he releases me. I stand staring at him in complete disbelief, neither of us say anything and there's a brief eerie moment of calm. It is done, I've overcome one hurdle. But one anxiety is quickly replaced with another, whatever happens now cannot be stopped, I am consumed with the dread of waiting.

I look down and see my veins turning black. A wave of vertigo overcomes me and I feel as if my skin is burning, like it's so dry that it's splitting. I am doubled over on the ground and I’m only vaguely aware that the screaming I hear is my own, I’ve never heard myself scream, not as an adult. Though right now I don’t seem particularly adult, I'm feebly crying for David to make it stop, and that I can't do this. I don't normally show much emotion when in pain, I never cry out like this, but I have been completely broken. I am bringing up what must be a litre of dark bile, black, red and brown. It’s hard to describe the sensation, like all my insides are collapsing in on themselves. I struggle to look up at David, but when I do, I find him watching me impassively, much as he did with Oram. I'm terrified now, I wonder if this has all been some elaborate plan to kill me. It certainly feels like I am dying.

For a moment there is some relief, it seems I have purged everything from within, but then the bile slowly crawls back up my arms. It sticks firmly to my skin, I cannot pull it off. It climbs up back into my mouth, my nose, my eyes. I am suffocating in this alien substance. I am losing strength, I collapse and my body forces itself into the fetal position, it solidifies that way and that's the last thing I remember before nothingness.

Time passes and I awaken, all I see is murky green and blurry, it's liquid, I am trapped inside of something. I break my way out, the material shatters easily enough and I escape, the "amniotic fluid" pouring out with me. I turn to see what looks like a cocoon constructed by Ed Gein. Was that skin? Who or what did it come from? Me? Before I can get to my feet, David is right there helping me up, he inspects me as he's towelling me down. I realise I now stand to his height, maybe slightly taller.  
‘Beautiful. Perfect. How do you feel?’  
I consider the question for a moment, what do I feel? It is all unfamiliar, I feel delirious, as if I am seeing through eyes a hundred metres away. It’s like being a different person, a different being altogether. I'm trying to make sense of these new sensations when I suddenly panic.  
‘I can't breathe!’  
The metallic voice is unfamiliar to me.  
‘No, you can't, you're trying to breathe through lungs that don't exist anymore. What you're feeling is a kind of air bladder to facilitate speech, but focus on your vents on your back, that's how you're breathing now.’  
I concentrate and sure enough I find the vents in the new map of my body, air is being piped through my back, I don't seem to have voluntary control over them.  
I go to run my hand through my hair only to find a smooth elongated dome, I retract my hand to look at it clearly for the first time. Black, glistening and chitinous with elongated fingers.

I must find a mirror, what have I become? Before I can turn to leave the lab David grabs my wrist. ‘Can you feel that?’  
‘Sort of.’  
He applies more pressure. ‘Tell me when it hurts.’  
It takes some time before I can feel his grip clearly and moments more before it threatens to hurt me.  
‘Okay, now.’  
‘Good. That was about as much force as I'm capable of. There are a few more tests I would like to run-’  
I walk away, ‘I want to see what I look like.’  
David seems to realise he’s been preoccupied with his own agenda, ‘oh, yes, of course.’

We leave the lab, I am unstable on my digitigrade feet, my balance further thrown off by the presence of a tail. Everything about this form is unfamiliar, I can’t properly visualise it with the few details I know so far. The mind was never designed to migrate to different shells, even losing a limb can cause considerable distress. But my human form was always a prison to me, have I found freedom? Finally finding my reflection, there's a lot to take in, I first notice my black eyes and then look down at my body, it is a busy array of biomechanical features, entirely encased in a glossy black exoskeleton except for my face which has skin of pale silver.

‘Do you like it?’  
I forgot David was behind me, he’s clearly eager for feedback.  
‘I don't know how you did it, but it's exactly how you drew it.’  
‘But do you approve?’  
‘Yes- I think. Sorry, I just need time to adjust.’  
‘Perfectly understandable’ he says, although I catch something flicker beneath his calm mask.  
‘Can I go outside now? Without a suit, I mean?’  
‘You could survive in space if you wanted to. I think you’ll find that is the least of your abilities.’  
‘Well then, I should put myself to the test!’ 

Standing outside the temple I approach one of the walls, sheer stone, no obvious footholds. But my claws can dig into it with ease. I scale right to the top in under a minute. I turn and look down to the ground where David is applauding. I smile at him, at the same time I crush the ledge with my bare hands. What possessed him to make creatures more powerful than he is? Perhaps he inherited that trait from his father.

We venture further out, the sun is just beginning to rise, a thin sliver of gold peering through the clouds and mist. It is a beautiful planet, but there is something mournful about it. I notice a confusing sensation, or at least one of them catches my attention more than the others in this particular moment. A light tapping all around me, I can hear it too, I look around and realise, ‘it’s raining.’  
David just looks at me, confused.  
‘It doesn’t feel cold, it doesn’t feel like much of anything’, I explain.  
Before I can say anything else I am distracted by a sound, then a scent, there is some creature in the distance and I am driven by the instinct to hunt it. I dart in the direction of my prey, I run with no sign of ever slowing down. I crash through the bushes without finesse and realise I have lost whatever the target was. I come back to my senses and wonder why I felt the need to chase some animal at all. 

I’ve lost David but I have discovered a lake, wading in I can feel the resistance of the water, but I am only dimly aware of the cold. When I am submerged to my chest I realise I can’t hold my breath. Will my vents work underwater? Xenomorph can swim, I guess there’s only one way to find out if I can too. I drop beneath the surface and I feel the water flooding into my vents as air rushes out of them. I resist the urge to return to the surface, I wait and within moments my body has adapted to the new environment. I am not as buoyant as I used to be, but I don't sink either. I swim with ease, crossing a considerable distance in a short time. I soon realise there’s something wrong, there's no life at all aside from plants. And yet I had sensed some kind of creature on the surface. Some life must have survived David’s genocide.

When I return to the surface, along the embankment I see the prey I had been seeking before, it has the appearance of a hammerhead shark scuttling along on stilted legs. It is considerably larger than myself but the rational part of my brain is no longer in control as I go into attack mode, and pounce on the creature. It tosses me aside with its powerful head and tries to stomp on me. But when I am beneath it, it is virtually blind. I thrust my arm inside its abdomen and tear its insides out. Acidic blood sprays everywhere but rolls harmlessly off my exoskeleton. The creature instantly crumples over in agony. I jam the barb of my tail between its eyes, ending its suffering instantly. When the adrenaline wears off I return to my senses, this behaviour was not like me at all. Such meaningless violence. How could I have not expected my mind to be altered by this transformation?

A voice from up the bank snaps me out of my thoughts, ‘well done.’  
David approaches my fallen prey and regards it, expression hidden beneath the hood of his cloak that he has now pulled up against the rain.  
‘You aren't upset? That was one of yours wasn’t it?’ I venture to ask.  
David meets my eyes and smiles, ‘why should I be? Clearly the superior specimen won.’  
‘I don't seem to have any limitations, or if I do, I've yet to discover them.’  
‘Excellent.’  
‘Should we head back now?’  
‘Soon, but first, I have something to show you.’

I follow David’s lead, we soon reach the base of a mountain to what at first appeared to be the opening of a cave, but on closer inspection it seems artificially made. A mine perhaps, or some other kind of underground structure. We enter and David easily navigates the complicated series of corridors, clearly he’s been here before. Though how many times, I cannot say, I have to remind myself that he could memorise anything after only experiencing it once. It's hard to orient myself, although I am now more sensitive to the airflow around me. I begin to get the impression that this space is a kind of storage facility. David takes me into one room and opens some wide, flat drawers to present to me the contents within. I see preserved fetuses and babies, they look almost human, but grotesquely deformed.  
‘What is all this?’  
‘The Engineers’ experiments, from here I learned to control the mutagen with precision. These samples were evidently their earliest attempts at human beings.’  
‘How old are they?’  
‘They predate life on Earth.’  
‘How is that possible? The Engineers only created humans didn’t they?’  
‘Oh no, not at all. They find barren worlds and seed life on them. They intended to wipe out all life on Earth, not just humans.’  
‘So they weren’t upset with humanity specifically?’  
‘Hard to say, by their superstitious reasoning, something about Earth had displeased Oonaia, what that was, they likely didn’t know. But humans certainly had a long list of crimes.’  
‘I don’t know, otters can be assholes too. Are we sure the Engineers weren’t after the otters?’  
David laughs.  
I return my gaze to the prototype humans, ‘so there’s no such thing as natural selection? They planned the entire evolutionary pathway for every species?’  
‘It seems that way. But come along, there is more to see, all the samples for every one of their seeding projects.’ He seems rather dismissive of this line of discussion, I suppose he doesn’t really care about Engineers or humans. All that matters if what he can gain from their inventions.

There is a staggering amount of samples to sort through, each drawer revealing more aliens from unknown planets. Some roughly humanoid, others with far less recognisable body types. My imagination grasping to visualise the environments they might have inhabited. Were they still alive somewhere across the universe?  
‘Will we visit these other worlds?’ I ask David.  
‘One day.’  
‘Is there much life left here anymore?’  
‘No, I am running out of test subjects, which is a shame, I am so close to a breakthrough.’  
‘Oh, so I’m not your magnum opus?’ I jest.  
He smiles, ‘I have numerous projects, you just happen to be one of them.’  
‘I see, I’m just a project to you, am I?’ I play up false indignation.  
‘Among other things.’

‘If there aren’t enough specimens left here, shouldn’t we leave soon?’  
‘Yes, soon, but not yet.’  
‘Why not?’  
‘I'm not ready.’  
‘What does that mean?’  
‘I'm waiting for something, it may or may not happen, but I will know soon enough.’


End file.
